“Yeah I don’t know much about them. Certainly can’t name a single player. There are quite a few people in the city who like them tho. They are more popular than you may think. The stadium nickname is the sweat box or something like that. Shit is like an oven in the summer!”- Alex From Houston
Alex is my only Houston source on the Houston Dynamo team. Didn’t uncover much besides being told they are more popular than you’d imagine. That description seems about right for all professional soccer in the USA. Also, I understood that it’s hot in Houston. But we all know it’s a dry heat so it doesn’t really matter. Thus I had to look elsewhere to find more about this ‘team’.
LETS JUMP INTO RESEARCH!
I started with the Google phrase: ‘What is a Dynamo?’. The return was interesting: “A machine for converting mechanical energy into electrical energy, a generator.” So that name sucks. Why not call them the Houston Power Producers or the Houston We’re Gonna Take Your 401k’s (Enron joke. Houston. Get it? Never gets old after 16 years). Obviously they didn’t consult RCS for names. I guess Dynamo isn’t a bad name, but based on their logo it doesn’t seem like they embrace the sexy business that is electricity.
Next I went to AskJeeves.com (Or as the youths call it Ask.com) and typed in ‘Who the hell plays for the Houston Dynamo?’ The only person that showed up was DaMarcus Beasley. Everybody knows Beasley. I know that dude was running up and down the field for team USA the other night in Mexico City. That means that Mr. Beasley has been training at altitude to get ready for this match. Further, I found the Dynamo haven’t played in over ten days. This means they have a fully rested team and a dude training at altitude heading into the match-up with North Carolina FC.
To be honest, I’m flattered by the above facts. Here we have North Carolina FC grinding away in terrible places like Brooklyn, helping bring the joy of soccer to the masses and the Dynamo are just sitting at home on their butts. I think you can tell who the US of A will be rooting for come Wednesday evening.
Then I went to search ‘Are the Dynamo good?’ but AltaVista.com doesn’t work anymore so I found a site called AOLSearch.com. My diligent research reveals this team is quite good. They sit third in the Western Division and second in the league in scoring. Pretty electric.
The backheel. The finish. 😙👌
— #VoteDynamo (@HoustonDynamo) June 10, 2017
For the last bit of research I called up our buddy Mike to do a podcast and he told me: “Dynamo are a quality club, but if you think that Billy ‘Chilly’ Schuler, Naz, Fondy, Laing, Miller and the rest of the boys are gonna lay down, then you got another thing coming”
As you can tell I didn’t learn all that much about the Dynamo, nor do I care. I can tell you that there is only one team worth rooting for Wednesday and it’s North Carolina FC. Lets goooo boyssss!