Ready to jump down the rabbit hole? What if NC State wins the ACC Tournament?
The phrase being bounced around since Mark Gottfried’s firing has been: “State winning the ACC tournament after firing Mark Gottfried would be the most ‘State thing’ ever.” It’s true. Very true.
Will State win the tournament? No way. They can’t string two wins together much less five wins in five days, but let’s jump into this alternate universe to look at the timeline after NC State cuts down the nets in Brooklyn.
Sunday, March 12th to Wednesday, March 15th.
State conquers Brooklyn and the national media hammers NC State for firing Gottfried despite the ACC Final being the only game they’ve watched State play all year. The NCAA Selection Committee gives NC State a #12 seed ( Mark Gottfried Special) in the West Region. They draw West Virginia in the first round. NC State is branded “The team you least want to play”.
Thursday, March 16th
NC State will be dispatched to Sacremento where the Wolfpack will take on the Mountaineers. Talk will be of Terry Henderson playing against his old squad and how great Mark Gottfried is at X’s and O’s. NC State will build an 18-point lead going into halftime with Ted Kapita winning over America with a few dunks, hanging onto the rims a little too long, and his smiles. Despite the good feeling, the Wolfpack will squander the lead and fall to the Mountaineers 98-88. However, Ted Kapita will win “America’s Favorite Tournament Player Presented by Werner Ladders.”
Friday, March 17th
Gottfried returns to Raleigh to clean out his office despite the call from the truly delusional State fans to keep his job.
Monday, March 20th
Dayton, VCU, and UNCW don’t advance to the second weekend, this opens the chance for State to interview their head coaches. Jeff Goodman continues to hammer NC State and actually takes Mark Gottfried’s side. Goodman claims he thought he hated Gottfried but realized in the last few days he actually hates NC State. Debbie Yow and the Wolfpack are able to line up interviews with Archie Miller, Will Wade, and Kevin Keatts.
Thursday, March 23rd
NC State decides to move fast on the coaching search and interviews Miller, Wade, and Keatts. They offer the job to Archie Miller, but he declines due to the negativity about the program from Goodman. Yow and company then move onto Will Wade, but he doesn’t answer the phone and State starts to panic. Not wanting to botch another coaching search, they offer the job to Keatts and, of course, he accepts.
As Keatts hops on I-40 to sign the papers, NC State gets a call back from Wade saying he will accept the job. State, in quite the pickle, call Keatts and tells him that it was a prank and says “Nice try, UNCW.” Will Wade comes to Raleigh and cranks the energy to 11 and installs a system that will compensate for the small exodus that follows Coach Gottfried.
Next Few Years
Coach Gottfried gets the head gig at Missouri and leads them to the round of 32 over the next five years.
ESPN finally realizes Jeff Goodman is a troll, and in their constant attempt to cut costs, hire a bunch of basement-dwelling trolls from Twitter to take his place.
Will Wade takes the helm at NC State and in two years builds them into a perennial top-five team in the ACC. He reaches three Sweet Sixteens in four years and defeats Kentucky in two of those years. Coach Cal, realizing this sort of stuff does happen at NC State, decides to bolt for the NBA. Cal finishes his coaching career with the Atlanta Hawks going 82-164.
It could happen. Just watch.